10 Reasons I’d Suck on The Bachelor

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By now you all now how much I love tv and especially reality shows. One of my all time favorites is The Bachelor. I’ve been watching pretty much from the beginning. I think I skipped a few seasons — ahem, Lorenzo the Prince, ahem — but then came back in full force right around the time Brad Womack didn’t choose anyone. I haven’t missed a season since.

And here’s an interesting tidbit for you. I even tried out to be on the show! I *think* it was 2005. I know I was living in Manhattan at the time and somehow found out they were holding an open call at a lounge downtown, right around the corner from NYU (where I did both my undergrad and graduate work. { insert shameless plug here}).  So off I went.

There weren’t actually a ton of girls at the place and I thought for sure I’d get a callback (overconfident much? 😉 ). They said they were looking for girls who were in jobs that ‘gave back’ and I was hoping the fact that I was a teacher made me a shoo in. I filled out some sort of questionnaire and then there was a lot of waiting. They kept us very separate from each other while we waited and I did not talk to any of the other girls.  Eventually I was called in and I talked to a producer and answered a few questions on camera. I was funny and charming and I thought I nailed it.  But as I walked out I took a good look around at the girls waiting to talk to the producers and I noticed that the vast majority of them were super trendy and very dressed up. The casting call started at 4pm and I thought it was perfectly acceptable to wear jeans and a cute top. I didn’t realize that I had to be dressed up like I was going out on a Saturday night. In that moment I knew wouldn’t be hearing from the show. And I didn’t.

But, all’s well that ends well and here I am nearly 10 years later, happily married and still watching The Bachelor. Each week I watch with my husband (shhhh, don’t tell him you know he watches) and I critique the show. My husband laughs at my commentary and once told me it’s a good thing I didn’t get on because I’d be a terrible contestant. And ya know what? He’s right!

So here are 10 Reasons Why I’d Suck on The Bachelor

The Quinntessential Mommy

1. I genuinely like having friends that are girls. I would not do well with all these crazy, bitchy, attention-whoreish, actress-wannabe, competitive girls. I’d actually want to be friends with the other girls and then I’d be all surprised when they stabbed me in the back.

2. I hate confrontation and avoid it at all costs. So if another girl had a problem with me and came charging at me to “discuss” it, I’d probably stammer and stumble over my words and eventually just agree with whatever she was saying to get her to stop yelling at me.

3. I would be cranky and irritable without books and TV. Forget boredom–I’d be downright mean and nasty if there was literally nothing else to do than sit by a pool all day, everyday.

4. I don’t drink a lot. Without books and TV there isn’t much else to do but drink. This one-drink-wonder can tolerate about 2 sips of vodka before I’m loopy as heck. Not cute on camera.

5. I hate pretty much all of the date ideas. Pool party? Nope. I’d  just sit on the side and watch because I hate getting wet.  Repelling down the side of a building? Double nope. And that zombie game from last week? Hell to the no. How about we go to a Broadway show or a to browse at the local Barnes and Noble? That’s my idea of a fun date. Although I guess those ideas don’t make for great tv… 😉

6. I’m not very aggressive. I wouldn’t push my way in and get “one-on-one” time with The Bach. I’d wait for him to come to me, which he wouldn’t, and I’d get sent home the first night.

7. I’m not good at doing my hair and makeup beyond my usual every day look.  I’m so fancy… No wait. I’m not. I’m a regular girl and I dress like one 99% of the time. Sure I love getting dressed up and going out on the town, but I’ve always had more of a cute-yet-sensible style day-to-day. It would take a lot for me to get all gussied up and super-trendified every single minute of every single day. But if you’re on camera, you kind of have to.

8. I have an ugly cry face. Who wants to see that on camera? Oh wait…maybe that makes me good for the show. I also cry pretty easily. Oops–another one for the “good for the show” column.

9. I probably wouldn’t even be attracted to The Bachelor. While there have definitely been some very handsome bachelors–I’m looking at you Andrew Firestone and Sean Lowe — I’ve only been genuinely physically attracted to 1 or 2 of the guys. I’m willing to bet I’d get there and not really be that into the guy.

10. I hate red roses. They’re so cliche. Give me a Gerbera daisy or even a pink rose any day.

 

So there you have it. In my head I would have loved to be on the Bachelor. But I know I wouldn’t have been great on the show. In the comments tell me your favorite reality show and if you’d ever actually want to be on it.

 

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1-20-15
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15 Comments

  • Reply heather

    Hilarious!! Bachelor is definitely my #1 guilty pleasure!!!! Sure it is their loss you didn’t get on there 🙂

    1-20-15 at 6:49 am
  • Reply Christine

    I haven’t watched The Bachelor in quite a few seasons because I got fed up with the fakeness and then NONE of them ever stay together so I feel like I am wasting my time. I guess I should feel that way with The Biggest Loser since most of them gain the weight back anyways. #realitytvwoes

    1-20-15 at 7:07 am
    • Reply Krista

      Omg your hashtag. Love it!

      1-20-15 at 7:18 pm
  • Reply Traci@tracesoffaith

    What a creative idea for a post! I often wonder if I even know anyone who would be good for that show? It’s out there. Your list was great!

    1-20-15 at 8:17 am
  • Reply Meredith@MommyAtoZ

    I am with you 100%. No way would I rappel down a building. And that zombie thing was weird. I did like the Costco date, though 🙂 I love this show, although I hate how it depicts women as catty, manipulative, and unable to befriend other women. For that reason alone, I’m totally with you…I couldn’t do it because I couldn’t treat other girls like that. Fun post!

    1-20-15 at 8:20 am
  • Reply Alana

    Oh my goodness, I LOVE this post!!!! 4 – 9 are soooooooooooooooooo me!!!! All of them had me nodding but #9 would get me kicked off in the interview process. Lol. If there was a test cry run, they’d kick me off immediately.

    1-20-15 at 9:32 am
    • Reply Krista

      LOLing at “test cry run”!!

      1-20-15 at 7:19 pm
  • Reply Gfitie Etcetera

    I always wonder who really likes those guys (except for Andrew Firestone, who was so hot).

    Giftie Etcetera

    1-20-15 at 10:17 am
  • Reply Erica @ Coming Up Roses

    I’m right there with ya…would never and could never be on the show! I just couldn’t deal with the whole “let’s kiss everyone and touch everyone and tell everyone how AMAZING they are”…I think my self-confidence would just hit the road! I’m totally fine just watching with my own love on our couch. (:

    cominguprosestheblog.com

    1-20-15 at 11:17 am
    • Reply Krista

      I’m with ya Erica! Couch watching is better anyway!

      1-20-15 at 7:20 pm
  • Reply Elizabeth Dietz

    I used to LOVE the Bachelor and then gave up watching when everyone started to be someone that was on the show before. I also decided that the people on the show couldn’t always be like that in real life. I really wish I could put one of my guy friends on there, but he is too down to earth that I don’t think he would ever make it.

    1-20-15 at 11:18 am
    • Reply Krista

      Oh nominate him! We can start a Twitter campaign for him and get him on!

      1-20-15 at 7:20 pm
  • Reply Summer Ann

    I am so with you. I think I would be awful on that show. I couldn’t handle a guy dating any other girl than just me. ;P

    XOXO,
    Summer Ann
    http://www.simplysummerann.com

    1-20-15 at 12:49 pm
  • Reply Holly Marie

    PRICELESS! I love your list on why you wouldn’t want to be on the Bachelor- I cringe and my stomach hurts each time there are those awkward moments… and there are so, so many!

    1-21-15 at 2:21 pm
  • Reply Lady Lilith

    Lol. This show cracks me up.

    1-21-15 at 2:28 pm
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